Best made plans

As one of my clients got married last Saturday, escorted by 6 bride's maids and driven by white coach and horses, I thought of her enjoying the fruits of celebration planned to the endth detail over the last six months. Saturday 10th May was her day. The champagne flowed even at the church accompanied by string quartet as photographers and film makers ensured they captured every poignant moment, every refined dress, every charming and elegant smile, and then there was the dinner for 160 friends and family, the speeches and then the dancing into the early hours for the young and fit and the not-so-young and not-so-fit. The all Boy Band would keep them up till they dropped.

What a fantastic occasion to enjoy and how lovely to remember later. But with all those carefully laid plans, where the day's schedule extended to 8 pages of timed notes, there is no accounting for what might go wrong......or differently from expected. Although I was many miles away occupied in my own things I was aware of certain activities my client would be involved in, preparation for departure, the carriage and time of ceremony. I thought of them on bended knees.....! But of course things may not have 'gone according to THE plan'. That is not to say that everything did not go well as I'm sure it did, maybe just ever-so-slightly differently. But then it may have gone exactly to plan! :-)

All the best made plans hwever, can go awry.... Considering any situation be it in business, at home, in career or in love, our ideas and best intentions can seem to be thwarted and a hiccup may occur that may change things. But as the saying goes...."The best made plans are made to be broken".

For me, a plan is a starting out point, to begin the 'journey' or project; they are not a straight jacket or 'rod for our back' that we must adhere to. And as circumstances or events change away from our original thoughts, then we adjust our thinking and accommodate those changes. With every shift away from plan A, or even with a disappointment there is always a new opportunity. With everything that may go wrong or differently from expected there is a benefit to be gained. Having the eyes and open mind to see it is our challenge.

When things go wrong for me, I may be disappointed for a few minutes but I'll quickly change my thinking to see how I can benefit from things as they are now. I remember Sir Richard Branson saying in an interview after a failed round-the-world balloon flight. "Naturally I was disappointed, but only for 30 seconds. Any more than that is a waste of time!"

When things do not go according to plan, things may even turn out better than expected. A plan is a starting out point, not the destination. We will eventually get where we're going, which may be different from our original idea. There is no knowing what is around the corner. If it's good, then we will be pleased. If it is not good, then although we may be upset, for 30 seconds or more, but it's helpful to remember that there is an opportunity for something new, bigger, better, more appropriate, cheaper, better timed... it is just for us to take advantage of every opportunity that comes our way.

I'm thinking of my client's wedding on Saturday, sure that everything went well for them. But even if things did not go according to her best made 8 page schedule, I hope she had a really great day anyway.

It's good to make plans and it's great to deviate them too! If the change is unexpected, then so will be the benefit!

I'm thinking of my client now. She'll be lying on a sandy Caribbean beach......lovely.

Who's got a front problem?

How is your front these days? I am directing this question to the men reading here, just as much as women! I mean it,...how is your front? Have you any awareness of your front, other than the tie you may be wearing or necklace? Most of us do not have any perception of the front of our body. Let me rephrase the question...

How is your back these days? Now you know what I'm talking about! You may comment that your back is just fine, thank you! On the other hand, you might complain of pain, stiffness, aches or general discomfort; I hope you do not have spasms or even a trapped nerve! Around 80% of us have back problems at some time in our lives; for many it can be a recurring or consistent problem. It may surprise you that back problems are often caused by tension in the front of our body. Most of us do not have a 'Back Problem'; it is our Front Problem we need to sort out! By releasing tension in your abdominal and chest muscles you may allow yourself to come up to your full height and your back problem may just disappear. Let me explain...

If we have pain in an area of our body, say for instance in our back, then that is usually where we feel that treatment should be focused, to relieve the pain. However, while there may be problems with the way our back muscles are supporting us, or not, as the case may be; while we may have a trapped nerve, squashed, perforated or slipped disc, the CAUSE of the problem may well be else where. We just feel the pain in one part and think that is where the problem is.

Throughout our body we tend to have groups of muscles that work in pairs. We have Flexor muscles that make us bend and we have Extensor muscles that straighten us out. If you bend your arm, you flex your biceps. We may do this to show how big our muscles are! To bend your arm your biceps contract, but when you straighten your arm, you release the tension in the biceps and the triceps contract (in the back of your arm) to straighten your arm again. Similarly we have pairs of muscles in our legs; the muscles at the back bend our knees and the quadriceps in the front can straighten our leg. The alternate use of these muscles cause our legs to bend and straighten and this is part of the activity of walking; straightening and bending our legs alternately. If we tighten both the front and back (flexors and extensors) at the same time, we cause rigidity and stiffness; we will then be bracing our legs.

We also have flexor and extensor muscles in our torso. The flexors are our abdominal and chest muscles and the extensors are the muscles in our back. We can tighten our flexor muscles in front to make us bend forwards, to curl up into a fetal position and our back muscles can straighten us up again. If our back muscles are not working effectively we may be encouraged to strengthen our tummy muscles, to develop chore strength to support the weak back. This strengthening usually brings about a general tension around our middle to help keep us upright.

However, young children have wonderful posture. because they have not developed any bad posture habits. They are very free and upright, yet they do not have strong tummy muscles. Their tummies are soft; it is the muscles in their back that are doing their proper job of supporting them. This is also the quality that we as adults still need in order to have healthy posture.

I asked the question, "How is your front?" because tension in the abdominal muscles and other muscles right up our chest causes contraction and can remain contracted, causing problems in our back; They may be constantly contracting and pulling us forwards and down. We do many activities that can cause us to become tight and contracted in our fronts; desk work, bending forwards to clean, fix, write, vacuum; we may also go to the gym and do 100 sit ups that tighten up our abdominal muscles. Unless we stretch ourselves out again, these muscles can be distorting our posture. Most people I meet at my Alexander Technique practice have tensions in their front that are shortening their stature and distorting their posture.

Tension in our 'front' is extremely common and has an effect on posture for most of us. There is no way that we can have a healthy back if we are constantly shortening in front. Muscle tensions in the front of our torso pulls us forwards and downwards so we become bent like a banana. We need to release these tensions so we can come upright again.

With Alexander Technique we can think to release tensions and 'send' our head upwards to lengthen our back. But although we may think of lengthening in our backs, we can easily forget that we must lengthen in front too! The distance from our groin to our throat should be lengthening too. A good stretch may help, but we must avoid just pulling and holding ourselves in a fixed and stretched way as this will cause other tension problems. Good posture does not require effort, at least we should not perceive it as effort. Young children don't make any effort of this kind, so nor should we as adults.

The answer is to 'think' upwards with our heads, but also think of our sternum coming upwards too, so the distance from our groin to our sternum and our throat becomes greater. Care must be taken though to avoid unnecessarily lifting our chest as this will also cause problems. Alexander lessons will help you with this subtlety. As we come up in front, out back will become more upright too and will allow more lengthening. We need the lengthening in our front and our back to take the pressure of our intervertebral discs and allow our spinal curvature to restore itself to normal. The spine should not be straight like a ruler, but curved; not excessive nor straight. Thinking upwards will allow it to sort itself out.

Many back problems are caused by us shortening in our front. If we can allow ourselves to come more upright by lengthening in front, then we are helping to reduce the strain on our back.

Two peaceful spots

Pool in North Woods, Hampstead.

Of the several lovely places we visited during last weekend there are some that emblazoned themselves on my mind more than others. A visit to Kenwood House in Hampstead owened by English Heritage was lovely, rewarding and culturally stimulating. Where else in the world can you view masterpieces by Rembrandt, Vermeer, Gainsborough, Reynolds, Romney, Guardi and Canaletto for free without even paying an admittance charge? Fenton House, also in Hampstead, owned by the National Trust was equally stimulating and fascinating with its fine collection of keyboard instruments including harpsichord, virginals, Clavichords and spinetts.

While music and art provide me with immense amounts of pleasure, as a spectator, listener or as a participant in my humble attempts at violin and photography, there are other parts of me only satisfied by connecting with nature, by seeking solitude away from my busy client based Alexander Technique practice to be amongst ancient woodlands, on top of hills with distant views or in wild and overgrown dingley dells secreted away from the unknowing passer-by.

Two such places were real highlights of the weekend. Hampstead Heath in north London is well known for its views across the city, its great walks, botanical variety and even the swimming lakes. But the North Woods that lie just to the north of the main Heath are less well known and lying in a hollow is a placid pool surrounded by oaks. This is place does not attract many visitors, but it is so peaceful, a haven full of energy and life.

Although my hobby is photography; you may be aware that I specialise in black and white hand made pictures that I produce in my darkroom in the traditional manner; it may surprise you therefore that digital imaging is a foreign medium to me and I know nothing about it! However I took a few snaps with my Leica C-Lux camera which you can see two here.

Bluebells in woodland, Chilterns, Oxfordshire.

Monday Bank Holiday saw us out in the Chilterns walking in favourite areas, through woods, over hills, down winding lanes, past the windmill at Turville and past the most wonderful display of Bluebells you could ever hope to discover. Lying as a purple carpet they extended on and on, between the birches and oaks, grouped in their thousands as swathes.

It's just so good to get out into the country, get the air about you and use those muscles for the most pleasant of occupations away from the beaten track. I'm now sitting in my office awaiting another client who will arrive in a few minutes. I think back to the pool at Hampstead and the Bluebells in the Chilterns. They were there yesterday..... I suppose they are still there even when I'm not looking at them.... Mental note, must go back and visit again soon. :-)

Your Duchenne Smile

This is not the Duchenne smile!

So, are you displaying your Duchenne Smile today? "My what?" I hear some saying, as I did on first hearing of it.

The smile that only turns the mouth upwards is unlikely to have much depth of feeling about it and probably originates in simply being polite. Whereas the smile that lights up the whole face, that lifts the mouth but also wrinkles the sides of our eyes into crow's feet by contracting the Zygomatic muscles, comes from the heart. We can pretend to smile, but the smile that does not include the eyes and facial muscles other than around the mouth does not ring with any truth. Would you buy a car from this nice man?

The Duchenne smile

Guillaume Duchenne (1806-75) experimented with electricity and determined that smiles resulting from true happiness not only utilize the muscles of the mouth but also those of the eyes. Such "genuine" smiles are called Duchenne smiles in his honor.

We smile when we're happy but we also become happy when we smile; it works both ways. The emotional response to endorphins is happiness which creates a smile, but the smile also creates endorphins. This lifting of our mood is wonderful for our health and well-being. It boosts our immune system and can even improve our posture. Yes, I do mean that. You can experiment by putting yourself into an awful slouch so you are really collapsed and slumped forwards then say "I am Happy!!" Does this ring with any truth? Now if you bring yourself up to your full height (use the principles of the Alexander Technique if you know how, by freeing your neck and thinking your head upwards), look out into the world around you, relax your shoulders, stand broad across your shoulders and now say " I am Sad!!" That does not ring with truth either, does it?

If you gain top marks in an exam you are elated and will feel 'UP', but if we fail we may feel depressed. The actual word 'Depressed' also applies to our posture and the effect of our downward collapse depresses our insides.

There are a great many people who do not smile much; indeed none of us do compared to when we were children, laughing up to 600 times a day. But the smile, as long as it is an honest one not only does so much for our health, but will also improve our social life; it is contagious and what we give out, we receive in return.

None of us consciously think about the types of smile that people give, but our subconscious certainly reads facial expressions more accurately than we can possibly imagine, so we know how to respond to others. It's all body language.

It has become popular with some people to try and eliminate the crow's feet from around the eyes by Botox or anti-wrinkle cream, in an attempt to 'stay young'. It is unlikely that our subconscious will be fooled by this as we read so many small signals in body language, eyes, posture, movement and spirit. Attempting to reduce these little lines around the corners of our eyes also removes part of the expression that makes us attractive, our display of happiness; by doing so we interfere with our Duchenne smile! Far better I think, to allow all our natural expression to show; exude the qualities that we like to see in others.

Aparently long-onset smiles have been shown through tests to be perceived as more attractive, more trustworthy and less dominant. Head tilting also increased attractiveness and trustworthiness but only if the head is tilted in the right direction. In this case, the right direction is the same way as eye orientation or towards a partner.

Make friends with your Duchenne smile and others will make friends with you too... :-)

Your amazing abilities...

It occurs to me that it's a very good thing that we all have different interests and abilities, rather than all being the same. The world would be in a very sorry state if ALL of us were politicians, or we were all builders, cooks, solicitors, farmers or whatever. No matter how useful is our expertise, we shall always be more than grateful for the assistance of others in other fields; the solicitor needs a builder to create his office, a telephone engineer to connect on-line and a farmer to provide his lunch.

What are your specialities? What is it that you are good at? Start naming a few. For me, I'm 'quite good' at communicating, teaching the Alexander Technique, printing photographs by traditional darkroom methods, I also seem to make a few people laugh; I'm told I'm quite good company although a big part of me doubts it; I cook (a bit), decorate, design and write. I also play the violin to a modest level given my 3 years experience.

OK, so there are some obvious things that can come to mind if we pause for just a moment. Now let's look at the less obvious ones. You are a good friend; you think and care for others; you give help where it's needed and not even asked for; you listen with your ears, your heart and your mind; you are good with your hands; you have several languages at your disposal to communicate, you draw people towards you without effort (when we make effort it doesn't work); you are a good teacher; generous with your time as well as in your gifts and, and, and, and....

Are you thinking that some of the qualities I mention above do not apply to you? Now, don't feel bad. I just listed the wrong ones... There are others, and others and even more others, if you care to just realise them. Indeed I'm sure you could list 100 positive qualities about yourself. If you have ten minutes you might like to write them all out.....yes, 100 of them. If you're feeling unsure, ask a friend, "My dear friend, can you please tell me what you think I'm good at, or what are my positive characteristics?" See how you feel when you've done it. If you like how you feel, maybe give a moment to tell a friend what they are so good at; it will surely bring a smile to their face.

OK, these are the things we do know about ourselves. But what about the things that we do not know about? As we may not know them, we cannot write them down. But I'm willing to bet (although not being a betting man) that there are more and more wonderful qualities and abilities you have that you do not yet know of. You can be so wonderful in certain situations, at more activities than you care to dream of, you could be so successful and so, so happy doing any one of many more things, of which you are not aware. Your potential is far greater than you can imagine. So is mine; so is every-one's. Wouldn't it be great to discover just a few more of them?

Maybe you'd like to try something new. Keep your mind and eyes open for new ideas and new opportunities. What is in your heart?

There is an old saying.... 'No matter what your level of ability, you have more potential than you can ever develop in a lifetime.' I like to remind myself of this. There is always more to do; there is always more to give and there is always more to life than we've done already... But whatever your achievements, whatever you do; contentment is what really brings happiness.

:-)

Sun and theft

Saturday was a great day out walking in the Chilterns, filling our lungs with the new spring air, the warmth of an April sun seemed stronger than it normally does and a gentle cooling breeze cleared any humidity. I was able to completely forget about having just been defrauded of over £5,000 by some unscrupulous person who stole my credit card details.

The day before I had received a phone call from a representative in Barclaycard's Fraud Department asking me about certain transactions that were clearly not ones that I had made. He went through the list and I answered "NO" to each one in turn as the list of fraudulent purchases mounted up and up including several flights and large store purchases in France. Fortunately the insurance will (or should!) cover the whole amount but this does not diminish the feeling of having been 'taken'. How dare they?!

I am intrigued by the experience and sensation of having 'suffered' quite a large theft and 'assault' on my personal finances, while at the same time feeling quite normal, relaxed, free and happy. Stuff (I believe it's called Shit in today's language) can happen yet unless it is a bash on the head, a fall or other physical 'happening' we are just the same as before. It goes to remind me that most of what we experience is how we think of it. It is all in our head.

If I check the numbers of my Lottery ticket and discover that all 6 are the same as the winning numbers for Saturday's draw, my little heart will skip a beat and I will be 'jumping for joy'. However if I check again and discover that my ticket was for last week or I misread the numbers, my heart will sink and I shall bemoan the loss of 'what might have been'. Our emotions can go up and down depending on what we think about, yet in the case of my Lottery numbers, nothing changed, just my thinking.

Getting worried and all worked up about 'stuff' does not help anyone, least of all ourselves. It virtually doesn't matter what it is that happens unless it is a physical or mental 'injury', we are just as healthy and well as before; the sun is still shining, the spring breeze is keeping the air fresh, we breakfasted well and the hills are beautiful. I think to myself, even if the insurance did not pay out (although I expect it will), I am still in fine fettle; it is just 'stuff'. There are great things out there that I can enjoy right now. Whether I think that something is 'bad' or not, is just in my head. In the total scheme of things, it really doesn't matter that much. I'll move on. life moves on. Yes, it's a really fine day today.... :-)

But "How dare they steal my money!" Ah well, "Yes, it's a fine day today..."

Postural alignment

Is Alexander Technique, postural alignment? This question was asked of me a few days ago and although the person asking expected a simple Yes or No, they got slightly more than that, after a momentary pause as I inhibited a superficial response.

Postural alignment is rather a simplistic term that could even just involve strapping a pole down someones back. There may be some disciplines or treatments that could offer postural alignment where the practitioner has only a few months training, unlike the Alexander Technique that requires 3 years full-time training to become qualified as a teacher.

It is often said that we should have a nice straight back. The word 'straight' however is a misnomer as a healthy spine has 4 natural curves when viewed from the side. When viewed from the front or back, the spine may appear straight. The curves are there for a reason, to provide support, to accommodate the ribcage and pelvis, to offer flexibility in movement and shock absorption when we jump. If our spine was entirely 'straight' like a broom pole it would not provide any of these benefits. The flexible arrangement of vertebrae (bones) and cartilage (flexible and rubbery spacers between the vertebrae) is all held in place by ligaments and muscles. Depending on how our musculature in our back is behaving, this will determine whether our spine is 'pulled' out of alignment by increasing or decreasing the curves, or whether the curves are even reversed in some situations. Scoliosis is what happens if someones back muscles are tensing more or less on the right side than the left, causing a sideways twist. Unless there is injury or disease of the spine, it is the activity of the muscles and ligaments the determine whether our spine is healthily upright or misaligned (I avoid using the word straight). It is determined by how we 'hold ourselves', standing on two feet and coping with the effects of gravity. Many postural habits such as slouching, stooping or sitting in a twist or carrying heavy bags on one shoulder affect our uprightness and alignment of our spine.

Yes, the Alexander Technique does address the alignment of the spine and our whole posture, but we do so indirectly; by eliminating harmful postural tensions and habits that cause a shortening of stature and the misalignment in the first place. All tensions cause a 'shortening' of stature, but if we revive the springy 'lengthening' of stature that we should have and did as a child, our postural alignment is improved. But we are not setting out in the first place to 'straighten' the spine, but address the poor postural habits that interfere with our co-ordination, balance and poise in movement as well as when still while sitting or standing. To be healthy, we need to be expansive in stature while also free and loose. It is this springy and light quality that Alexander Techniques seeks to revive (we had it as young children before habits set in). As we eliminate harmful tensions and address our balance (evenness on both feet and upright poise), our spine naturally takes on a more appropriate and healthy curvature, free of distortion.

In the process of addressing our balance, co-ordination and poise, many other aspects of health and personal performance are often enhanced; Alexander Technique helps good breathing, voice, personal confidence, sporting activities, acting, dance and many more activities we do in life. It helps people make more of themselves in almost any occupation or situation. This is why the technique is so popular with performers in music, dance and on stage as well as with business and sports people. Postural alignment does not cover it, however, one would be correct in thinking that this technique will help postural alignment. But postural alignment is only a small part of what we are addressing, as the Alexander Technique helps the working of our entire body and mind.