Perfect Poise, Perfect Life
Bring your body into balance and revolutionise your life
By Noel Kingsley
Publisher Hodder Mobius
AVAILABLE HERE
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Coping with anti-passion
When passion creates anti-passion and enthusiasm is returned by negativity by our friends we know we've passed a threshold on the love/hate scale with regards to the topic of our interest. As Kathy Sierra writes in 'Popularity breeds contempt' we see someones enthusiasm for something being met by not only indifference, but definite rejection by others who may not have even tried it. Kathy calls this threshold the Koolaid Point, the point where enthusiasm for a software product is so high that others accuse them of 'Drinking the Koolaid' often fueled by commercial success.
But we've seen this happen in almost any other field you care to mention, not just in computer software. I remember the period of my life before I trained as an Alexander Technique teacher and was on the verge of quitting my career in retail marketing. I was so enthusiastic (and still am) about the Technique that nothing else in my life mattered as much. That didn't go down too well with my wife who couldn't understand it, or wouldn't. It became a choice between marriage or Alexander Technique, and no prizes for guessing which won! (Clearly the relationship was not working anyway, so this may have been the final straw.)
I've also heard some of my clients say how they've recommended the Alexander Technique to a friend who they considered a prime candidate to benefit wholesale because they were in such a desperate situation with their posture/breathing/stress, but their recommendation fell on deaf ears and sometimes complete rejection. It happens with chiropractics, nutrition, massage, osteopathy, homeopathy, naturopathy and any you-name-it-opathy. One person gets fantastic benefits and thinks it's just the koolest-best and when they recommend it others run the other way. They can reject your idea for any reason, and that's fine, but one could ask what experience have they had of this to bring them to their conclusion?
So what is it about enthusiasm that can make others turn tail? If on the other hand we talk more moderately of our new found passion they may take more interest but then we may also just sell it short.
Do we need to be our own discoverer? Do we fall into an auto-negative mode when greeted with enthusiasm? "It can't be that good." "It's just marketing hype." "It won't work for me." Or may be we like to be stuck in our mould. Maybe we have a fear of success and our old and worn-out-modes of failure or pain are actually rather comfortable.
We can get used to discomfort and failure to such a degree that it feels familiar and normal. We like our habits. Maybe it's our habit to look on the bleak side and that's where we'd rather stay, even though there is a far more updated/better/whizzing gizmo/elixir and solution readily available.
We're dealing with change and this can be uncomfortable even if it brings with it potential benefits. There can be a real fear of change as it takes us into the unknown with regards to personal interactions, new situations and costs. Some people don't want us to be right and maybe they'll do anything to prove their own misguided view is right....even if it is wrong.
It can take some time to adjust and come to terms with a new idea and to accept it. It can take years for some people. Maybe they'll hear of it from different sources and after the fifth or sixth encounter they'll decide to give it a go. I've known people to come and see me clutching a newspaper article they cut out two years before and only now are getting round to doing something about it. They're doing it in their own time. It's a mistake for us to think people should do it in our time. They will do it in their time. And that's OK.
The answer is to let it go. Let them do it/see it their way. It really doesn't matter. And anyway one man's meat is another man's poison. We're all right, and we're all wrong. We;'re all getting to where we're all going in our own time. It's just damned frustrating when we know our best friend just needs what we're telling them and they just won't listen!
