World class balance

Roger Federer

It's sizzling summer, it's late June and there is so much sport to watch on TV from the Football World Cup to Wimbledon tennis, it can be a difficult choice between staying in to watch the big matches or go out and get some sun and fresh air. If I were a cat my tail would wag in indecision.

I don't know about you, but when I watch sport played at such high levels, it's just wonderful to see the acrobatics and athleticism of the players. They move so fast, respond like lightening with reactions faster than a speeding bullet. They may fall over quite a lot, but by and large they manage remarkably well to stay on their feet despite the fast pace of action. It makes me think of what fine co-ordination they have. They are like athletic acrobats.

Have you ever been in awe watching an acrobat walk across a tightrope only using a long pole to help balance? The wire is only about an inch in diameter, yet, although it moves from side to side, he will go with the movement, compensating and readjusting his weight with split second timing. Obviously his reflexes are wonderfully quick and his sense of balance finely tuned. Maybe as a child you walked along the top of a narrow garden wall, and you could probably run along it without falling off because you were free in your joints and your balance was good. Well, this is the same agility that we still need as adults if we’re going to be successful at sport.

Wayne Rooney

Let’s create a new set of conditions for our acrobat and ask him to wear a neck splint, which sounds terrible, but is simply a neck support that prevents all movement by holding his head and neck in a fixed position in relation to his shoulders. Ask him to walk the wire again wearing the neck splint, and he’d find that he wouldn’t be able to maintain his balance and would fall off after only two or three strides. This illustrates the importance of keeping a free neck and allowing the weight of our head to freely balance on the top of our spine. This may seem like an extreme example, yet this is the sort of condition that most of us have all of the time. We are interfering with the balance of our heads by tightening our neck muscles in a habitual way, all day long.

Since an adult head usually weighs the equivalent of about 5 bags of sugar, between 4-6 kilos, it has a tremendous influence on the balance of our whole body. In a healthy person, and you can easily see this in two year old children, the head balances very freely, and it will wobble back and forth so that the weight compensates depending on the angle of the body underneath. The head weight acts as part of our whole balancing mechanism. If we tighten our muscles and lock our head position solid on our neck, it will prevent our head from righting itself with subtle and subconscious adjustments, and we will become unstable on our feet. Neck tension is not just the cause of neck pain and discomfort, but it actually affects the way we perform. It has a much greater effect on our bodies than we might at first realise.

Neck tension reduces the sensitivity of the small but highly important sub-occipital muscles deep underneath the skull. These little muscles work in conjunction with our vestibular mechanism of the inner ear and our eyes to send feedback information to the brain about our position and our overall balance. In other words they help to tell the brain where we are in space. As a sports person, we need these functions to be working one hundred percent.

To free our neck we must firstly bring our attention to it and our head balance. We must ensure that our head is not pulled backwards by muscle tension in the back of our neck. For most of us, it will be helpful for us to allow our nose to drop a few millimetres so that our head rolls forwards on the top of the spine. Don’t drop your neck forwards like a giraffe, nor tuck your chin in. Remain upright. We’re allowing our head to roll forwards slightly on the very top of our spine at a point between our ears. Gravity will do the job for us. Think of your head teetering, freely. You need to ‘wish’ it free. It should be a clear wish that has meaning and which can bring about a change. We need our neck to be free all of the time. There is normally no reason for us to be tightening our neck muscles. This isn’t a fixed position and we should not ‘hold’ our heads in a position that we think is correct. Let it balance freely like a young child.

We can free up throughout our whole body in a similar way, by ‘telling’ and intending ourselves to become freer. Habitual tension will remain unless we intervene. Tell your shoulders to free and loose, and also your arms and legs.

Whatever you're doing, you're likely to be able to do it better, more efficiently if you've got a free neck. If you're playing sport, then the slightest problem shows itself up and interferes with your performance. Even if the closest we ever get to sport is when we watch it on TV, we can avoid getting a stiff neck and tiredness if we can just loosen that top little joint between our ears. Just like a child's head....let it teeter. It won't fall off.

Now I'm going to toddle off for the weekend. See you next week!
:-)

Love and hug

Joel Kurth gives his father, Thomas, a hug the night before the kidney transplant surgery.

There are times when only a hug will speak what's truly in our heart. There are times when only physical contact can communicate the true depth of feeling, understanding, love, support, rapport, sympathy, caring, happiness, empathy, forgiveness, togetherness, reconciliation, pride and any otherness you can just about imagine. I'm thinking to myself as I write, who have I not given a hug to that I really deep down wish I could and should? Who am I missing out with and who is missing out from me? When is giving-time? It's most certainly anytime...particularly when we or our friends, relatives and companions are in difficulties. It's now. When there's fear, there's need for love. Love is healing. And when there's love, there's need for more. It's one of those things that doesn't run out, as there's more to give, like smiles.

The time when we’re falling in love is such a heavenly experience, our body chemistry is on overdrive creating hormones at a hundred miles an hour and we’re floating on air. Of course the object of our love is outside of us, but the experience and sensation is inside. The situation is a catalyst to change how we feel. Enjoying the company and love of others changes our chemistry so that we feel this happy, loving feeling, but the experience is just as much about how we feel about ourselves. Touching, stroking and hugging is known to lower the heart rate and blood pressure so reducing the risk of illness or heart disease. Being in love brings the opportunity to share and enjoy regular physical contact, peace and contentment, satisfaction and security and it helps us relax. They say it makes the world go round.

Any form of emotional expression helps to free us up, connect with our innermost feelings, to feel good and relax inside. When we are really relaxed we are also probably at our most intuitive, receptive and responsive. Human contact is one of the strongest stimuli that we can experience and it has untold powers. Being touched by another communicates so many things, and we usually enjoy it; at least we do when it’s not threatening.

Touching is something that many westerners refrain from doing; partly because of social inhibitions, but also to avoid possible misinterpretation and it may be taboo in particular circumstances and with certain age groups, but we may also not touch because we are just simply withheld. We hold ourselves back. If we look at monkeys, they’re touching the whole time and if we were more allowing, we would probably do so too.

Now I’m not suggesting that you go out and hug, touch and generally assault everyone you meet. This would be alarming for the person involved if she or he is not willing, and it may well get you into trouble. But with people who you know and with whom you have a familiarity and where the territories are understood, then to touch or even to have a nice hug is a wonderful experience. It helps us connect, really connect. It’s reassuring, comforting, relaxing, loving, and altogether good for us. Stroking a pet is also beneficial as this is also known to lower levels of stress and reduce blood pressure.

Unconditional love and hugs are wonderful because we feel safe and unthreatened. In such situations we can give ourselves wholeheartedly without fear that it will turn into something else. Some people in relationships may reduce the amount of physical contact between each other as familiarity and possibly boredom increases over the years. This is not because they don’t need the contact, but for other reasons. Indeed we may need even more hugs and touching as a sign and confirmation of continuing love and support. If we don’t get this experience from within the relationship, we may well start looking for it from outside.

There were many decades when I didn't hug my parents. It was part of growing up, being macho and independent. Many of us probably behave this way at times in our lives. This situation lasted too long in my case, but that's now changed. I've got the best relationship with my Dad now than I ever had, and we enjoy a good hug when we meet. Sadly my Mum passed away, but not before we enjoyed the return of more physical closeness.

By touching on greeting, kissing as the French do, shaking hands and having a hug can all be helpful in encouraging the open exchange of honest rapport. They help us connect, and connecting helps us communicate and on more levels than simply by speech. If our intentions are honourable, our actions are unlikely to be misinterpreted and we can enjoy many benefits.

It can take some courage to break patterns of behaviour that have built up over time. But if the relationship is long standing, and hugs were higher on the agenda than they are now, then maybe we can be brave and take the step. If our 'intentions' are honourable, and we 'behave', then our actions are unlikely to be misjudged. If we have feelings other than 'honourable' then the other person will probably pick up on it. Being unconditional is the key, with a clear head. If it's with your wife/husband or partner, ...or your father, mother, sister or brother, then you may just make their day....and their life too.
:-)

National Siesta Day 2006

Yesterday was the UK's first NATIONAL SIESTA DAY and it was received with enthusiasm up and down the country. While newspaper reporting was patchy, radio and TV gave lots of support. The idea of having a post lunch nap to restore energy levels for the afternoon has been officially launched and the comments, emails, phone calls back to radio stations and TV have been great.

My own day started at 4.30am, when I mistook the time for 5.30! Not such a great start, but my body clock had been affected by my late-night talk with Radio Five Live. So I napped for a further hour before the car arrived to take me to the BBC.

For me, National Siesta Day was a whirlwind of dashing from one studio to another, starting at BBC TV studios in White City, London for two interviews on BBC 1 Breakfast show and radio interviews slotted in between. In total I gave 14 live and 2 prerecorded radio interviews, including BBC World Service, BBC radio 1, BBC radio 2 with Chris Evans, BBC radio Scotland, BBC radio Wales, LBC News, BBC Humberside as well as Cambridge, Sheffield, Northampton, Inverness and others. I tell you, I needed my own nap after lunch!

So I hope you managed to get a short nap or siesta yourself, and if not, then there's always today...or tomorrow. It's just such a good energising thing to do, that refreshes your mind, clears your head, helps you be more alert, creative and communicative. It helps your posture and general health. Napping was a tool of many successful people through history. Einstein napped every 90 minutes in his favourite chair holding a pencil, and when it dropped, it woke him before going into a deeper sleep. 15 minutes is about right otherwise we may feel groggy. Napoleon napped in his saddle between battles, Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher, Edison, Bob Hope and Da Vinci all took naps, so you're in good company.

Often referred to as the Power nap, more and more people leading busy lives, in the city and business, are using it to ensure they can be productive right through the working day. It just makes sense to be at your best if you're needing to perform well. And it also helps reduce stress and lead to a longer life.

So although we may not have another National Siesta Day until June 2007, there is no reason why we don't have a nap regularly ourselves.....every day! It's good, it's enlivening and makes you feel great.

Phew, now that this is behind me, I'll get back to some more regular blogging on other topics.

:-))))

National Siesta Day - update

Tomorrow is National Siesta Day and interest from the press and radio has been good. If you haven't heard that Wednesday 28th is the day when we can all have a short nap after lunch, then catch up about it in my blog and at Siesta Awareness.

It will be featured in some national and regional press, and this morning I'm going to BBC Bush House to be interviewed for several radio programmes including tomorrow's Business Daily on BBC World Service. Listen in to Business Daily on 28th June at 8.40am UK time and at 4 other broadcast times around the world. It's also available to hear any time during Wednesday at the BBC World Service page and click on Radio Player.

If you ever feel that you could do with a post lunch nap to restore your energies for the afternoon, then tomorrow is definitely the day you can do it, and you won't be alone. Research shows that by having a short 10-15 minute nap in the early afternoon can help improve productivity by up to 34 %, help us feel more alert, clearer headed, negotiate better, and reduce the risk of accident. It's popular in Japan where companies nearly force their employees to take a nap in special 'napping rooms'. While here, progressive companies encourage the 'Power nap'. It's time that it was an acceptable practice in the UK.

So tomorrow, if you work at a desk, get a travel pillow, or something to lean your head against. Push your chair back against a wall, adjust the arm rests so you're supported without hunching your shoulders and set your mobile phone alarm for 15 minutes. Don't sleep for longer as you may feel drowsy for the afternoon. It needs to be short, to be most effective. And afterwards, drink some water and wash your face.

If you feel the benefit, you may like to do it every day.... I do. :-)

Have a good day, and I'll keep you posted.

'Thinking' manifests.

What were you doing over the weekend? Miranda and I went to the Michelangelo Drawings exhibition at the British Museum on Saturday, queued for an hour but the last tickets for the day were sold to the people just in front. Ah well we thought, we'll go tomorrow. So we returned on Sunday, the last day of the exhibition, and found two hundred people in front of us at 9.00am. Again we queued for an hour, but got tickets for 12.20pm entry, giving us a couple of hours to relax, find a cafe, visit Covent Garden and sit in the quiet gardens of the 'Actor's Church'. Plenty of time to think and chat.

It was during this lovely enforced period of 'doing nothing' that my mind went to what it means 'to think'. Not your normal 'relaxation topic', but then according to my partner, I'm not completely normal anyway.....

I found myself musing on this theme, and the phrase 'what you think is what you get' came to mind. But I got a new realisation...I saw it from a slightly different perspective. I've written about this on a number of occasions before, so if you want to catch up, read Laws of attraction or 'Sensation'.

I've since been checking some dictionary definitions to see if they included my alternative definition, but to no avail.
"Critical thinking consists of a mental process of analyzing or evaluating information, particularly statements or propositions that people have offered as true. It forms a process of reflecting upon the meaning of statements, examining the offered evidence and reasoning, and forming judgments about the facts. ...the process of critical thinking involves acquiring information and evaluating it to reach a well-justified conclusion or answer." Wikipedia.

"To think. vb. To consider, judge, or believe. 2 To exercise the mind as in order to make a decision." Collins English Dictionary.

~So here is my alternative definition....."To think. To draw towards you that which you are 'thinking about' or something related to that which you are thinking." Hmmn. Not well phrased maybe, but you may get my drift. We attract what we think about....all the time.

We got home after the exhibition and were really glad we had made the effort. It was wonderful to see the 90 original 15th century original drawings of this great master. But we were tired and ready to sit and watch England win 1-0 over Ecuador in the second phase of the World Cup. Afterwards I returned to consider the meaning of 'thinking'. To be precise, I was trying to find something I could think about that definately could not draw towards me that which I thought about or something related to the topic.

It is often the case I find that whatever I've thought about, comes into existence, or something closely related to it. Not always good, I hasten to add! But are there any things that definately cannot be attracted in this way? If you can think of something, please tell me.

Let's look at some examples. Considering the 'meaning of thinking' gave me a deeper understanding and width of perspective. Thinking of a solution to a problem brings me nearer to solving it. And without getting morbid, thinking of my deceased mentor in the Alexander Technique, brings me closer to my memory of him, to almost sense his presence. When working, I often emulate his ways and approach. What else is there? If I think of problems and conflict in the world, I may gain a deeper understanding of events and maybe even donate to a cause. I am looking for unlikely situations where 'thinking' doesn't draw that which you think of, towards you....and I can't.

For most of the time, I suspect we think of our daily needs, situations, problems relating to family, work, leisure or future needs. All topics that I've long felt are influenced by how we think of them. 'What we think is what we get.' But try as I might, I haven't come across something that we could think about, that 'definitely' would not bring something towards us, if not the actual item or situation itself, something closely related to it.

I wanted to disprove my theory but have so far not been successful. Maybe I haven't actually wanted to disprove it adequately strongly, so that's why I have not drawn it towards me! Probably because I wanted to validate it.

The theme of my musings, is that we do not need to 'try and visualise' or 'try hard to think about something' for it to be manifested. It is the process of thinking itself that has this effect.

OK, maybe I've hit the rocks this Monday morning and gone off on some wild fanciful notion. Let me know if you think this is the case. But for now, I'm thinking...."Hey, this is some tool! This is some great thing we've all got going on here. Thinking manifests. Not just special thinking, or focused thinking, or visualising thinking or positive thinking, or just negative thinking, or selective thinking in any way. No, I'm talking about ALL thinking.

So whatever emotion you have at the time, about the object of your thoughts is what you are manifesting. I believe it comes down to the deepest emotional condition we have around the topic of our thoughts or considerations that will govern whether we get 'nice' and 'welcome' things, or 'not nice' and 'unwelcome' things. Worry negates and undermines positive thinking. So if we're 'wanting' something to transpire, but we have deep worries abouit it, they could well derail things so we don't get what we want. But we will get what we thought.

This is some tool! I'm going to be careful what and how I think of things today, to ensure I'm energising what I do want, and not otherwise!

'What you think is what you get.'

Have a great day.

:-)

Practice makes perfect...

While playing my violin yesterday evening, there was a passage in this Handel sonata that I just couldn't get my fingers around. The rest of the piece is becoming familiar enough having just started learning it a week or so ago, but this short passage required a switching of fingers and crossing of strings that was continuously flummoxing me.

Every time I came to this passage, I got tangled up and made the same mistakes. I slowed it down to half the speed but every attempt brought the same error. I may not be very good at playing this piece accurately, but I realised that with all the practice I was giving to this situation and the repeated error, I was becoming an absolute master and virtuoso at my own mistake. I could do it perfectly.

The situation served to remind me how easily we get into ruts and ways of doing things become instinctive. Every time I played the wrong fingering, I was reinforcing this into my system. By practicing it, I wasn't getting better in the way I wanted, but worse.

The answer was to not 'try' and play the piece at all, but to work on the process of selecting the right notes so my fingers (and muscles) gained the experience of the accurate and correct dexterous movements. To this end I slowed the piece right down so that it didn't resemble music at all. I read the music and placed each finger carefully in the correct sequence, irrespective of rhythm or tempo. I needed my fingers to get used to the muscle adjustments required for this particular sequence of switching from string to string and selecting the correct note. Once I got the sequence smoother, without errors of wrong fingering, then I was able to think of the actual note durations all at an extremely slow pace. Then when that was becoming easier, I was able to increase the speed a little at a time. If I made an error of wrong fingering, I slowed it right down to long individual notes again to reinforce the correct muscle activity. This pattern had to become the new and more familiar way rather than the wrong fingering that had become established and habitual. When this improved i could increase the speed gradually, always repeating the correct pattern of notes, without error.

If we make a mistake in anything, and repeat it, this becomes ingrained and it's harder to get out of it. This shows itself up in any other activity you care to mention, from swinging a golf club where the eye is taken off the ball to throwing a dart. Whatever we repeat becomes a habit. It's therefore important that we are careful of how we do it.

The same could be said of what we think about and positive thinking. If we are prone to thinking negatively, then this becomes a habit that's hard to break. If we can catch ourselves thinking this way, we can (if we choose) change so that we're more positive in outlook. As we know, what we think is what we get. So be careful of what think as this energises the situation of your thoughts. We don't want to attract what we do not want!

Practice makes perfect. Whatever you repeat makes you better at it. In my violin situation I was becoming a master of my own mistakes. I could do them perfectly. It's the same with posture. We practice our habits and sure enough we become expert at stooping, slouching, sitting in a twist or holding our breath. If we can identify the problem and give some thought to 'how' we are doing it, then we'll have a chance of changing.

We can be in control of so much, and this is such a wonderful thing. Decide you want to change something and we can. It may take a little discipline, but the opportunity is there to be taken. It's so Great!
:-)

Get into - Positive Self Care

When I've been talking recently to business people and journalists about National Siesta Day and the benefits to our productivity and well being of having a short nap after lunch, the response has often been " Fat chance there is of that! If only...!" The attitude has been that they just don't have the opportunity and 'can't'.... or won't.

The culture in most of northern Europe, and particularly in the UK is that napping is for wimps, a waste of precious time, lost money and productivity and there is barely enough chance to eat a sandwich at the desk, never mind stopping to 'siesta'. "Pooh-ah!!" The culture does not allow for such luxuries. What we don't even want to consider is how much better we function when we are well rested. It's ironic that we protect the very culture that encourages ill health. Why are we so defensive? We probably don't want to stand out as 'peculiar' or odd. "It's just not done!"

But who is it that makes the culture? We may say it existed before we came along and it's so embedded that it can't and won't change. OK. Who is it that continues the culture? The bosses? Maybe, but only in part. It is We who continue the culture, collectively and individually. The heard instinct is to do what everyone else does. We feel the need to fit in, be seen as a 'serious' worker and 'company' person. I've experienced it myself as a senior executive in retail management, for fifteen years until I changed my career towards health during the mid 80's. It hasn't changed much, although technology now gives us more ways to multi-task with, mobile phones (they didn't exist when I was an executive!) texting, emailing and now every-one's clutching a Blackberry.

More than ever before there is the pressure to work harder, longer, and to achieve more and faster. In the 80's my colleagues were burning out by the age of 40 and ending up on the commercial scrap heap, each grasping in desperation at their self appointed role of 'business consultant'. Now it's happening to even younger people. Burnt out by 30 or just hanging on at 35.

If we are going to work so damned hard and expect so much, we have got to take care of ourselves ...ultra-hard.

What I'm about to say, may come as a surprise to some, if we've forgotten who we really are. We are all Human. Yes. I'm sorry to break this news if it's new to you. But it's true. This means that you and I and everyone has 'human' levels of basic needs to keep us functioning. We may do without sleep for a day or two as we work 15-18 hour days, but do that for a week and you'll be not worth the shoes you stand in. Do it for a year and you can take the same and more off your life expectancy. Of course there will be times when we do need to work so hard and that is why we must ensure we are functioning at our best to cope. Otherwise we burn out.

Positive Self Care is about ensuring we function at our best. As we're human, we need sleep, adequate amounts of water, nutritious food, exercise, good breathing and good posture. If we go without them for any length of time, we suffer. You cannot perform at your best when your operating system is undermined. You could take the attitude that you'll fix it when it's broke. But it's far better to avoid that by regular maintenance. Keep the machines well oiled...and I don't mean with booze.

What I see are many apparently intelligent people, doing demanding and very responsible jobs, giving no thought to the 'machinery' that does the job. They have a very irresponsible and unintelligent attitude towards themselves and their health. So burnout is on the cards.

Thankfully there is now a growing attitude with certain individuals where they realise that in order to do the big job, earn high millions in salary, they need to look after themselves well. They are into PSC. Gradually we're cottoning on to the fact that It's cool and intelligent to give high maintenance to ourselves so we can work at peak performance....continuously. The requirements need not cost us any more money that we currently spend.

So what does this involve?

We need the essentials that provide health and well-being. As we are made up of 80% water, and in hot weather we can lose a 1/2 litre an hour, it's sensible to drink lots of fresh water. Drink 2-3 litres a day in summer and half that in winter.

We all have to eat, and indeed we tend to over do this at times, for comfort, stress relief and to satisfy our wildly excited taste buds. Eat nutritious food. So less sugar and carbohydrates, less refined foods, less coffee, and eat more salads, fruit, vegetables and a little organic protein. There's plenty of advice on eating healthily in the press these days. The answer is to JFDI!

Get your rest. 'Early to bed, early to rise' has lots to offer. If you're naturally a 'late' person, then ensure you get adequate hours of slumber. During the day around twelve hours after your deepest night time sleep, you may well get a drop in energy. Take a nap of around 10-15 minutes after you've eaten lunch. Siesta.

Take breaks. Yes, stop work, go out for some air and a change of scene. Even just ten minutes helps to refresh you. On the train, rather than getting your laptop out or paperwork, read the paper or a magazine....or let your mind wander and relax. Try doing Semi-supine for ten minutes. You'll feel refreshed, straightened and relaxed afterwards.

Look after your posture. How you hold yourself affects the whole working of your body. If you work predominantly with your mind, don't forget that your brain needs good blood circulation and oxygen. If you're prone to slouching, stooping, stiffness or collapse, try to free your neck, relax your shoulders and think tall. This will help you be more free and upright. Have some Alexander Technique lessons if you can.

Do regular exercise. Whatever takes your fancy from swimming, jogging, distance running, ball games, Yoga, golf, tennis or even just plain walking. Try and balance your mental activities with regular exercise that will stimulate your breathing and blood circulation. Do something you enjoy, so it is not a task. Happiness in activity helps health as much as the task itself.

Remember to breathe. During times of stress we often hold our breath and this can become a habit. If you notice that you've been holding your breath, start again by breathing out. Try this little exercise to stimulate normal, healthy breathing.

Get a hobby . Something that is mind absorbing and possibly physical too. Something creative that stretches you but can offer real rewards. I play the violin and do photography. There are thousands of activities to choose from. The benefit is that the complete change in activity that's really absorbing and enjoyable for you, helps your health, relaxation and frame of mind so you come back to your work refreshed.

Positive Self Care or PSC, is a growing cultural attitude among people in the know and taking an intelligent approach to helping themselves cope. It makes life far more fun. Get into PSC and help yourself. Your quality of life, happiness and enjoyment at work and at leisure will improve....enormously.

Monochrome photography

Just a small selection of photographs from my photography site, including trees, churches and landscapes.

Put your mouse on any picture to read the title.

You can speed it up a bit if you like, but don't get dizzy.

If you want to see more and read about my approach to photography visit www.noelkingsley.com

Attachments and possessing

When we do get what we want, and achieve our heart’s desire, if we try and hang onto it, we may find that the very thing that we tried so hard to get, can slip away from us. When referring to attachment, I’m not talking about Attachment Disorder, a condition that can be established in infancy and for which there are centres that provide help and support. I’m talking about the everyday situation of hanging onto things, particularly when it comes to people. Clinging to new relationships is one way in which some of us may have experienced a problem; when one person is keener than the other, any over-bearing tendencies on one side can put the other person off. But by releasing the person or situation, and by having a less holding attitude, we may find that our relationship stays with us.

In some cases it’s the actual process of going for something that allows us to have it but by trying to keep it, we lose it. When people use the Alexander Technique to help their natural poise and release unwanted tensions, they can often feel a wonderful sense of lightness and freedom, but if they try to hang onto this sensation, it slips away. This is because when they try to keep the lovely experience, they cease to use the process that created the experience in the first place. If we are in deep water of a swimming pool and enjoy having our head above water then we’ve got to keep swimming, as it’s the process that helps us maintain what we enjoy.

When we get something that we really want, we can feel a wonderful glow and inner sense of satisfaction. We relate our good feeling to the thing we got. But this thing is usually outside of us and if it’s an inanimate object, it is not actually doing anything to us at all. Such possessions can give us a huge emotional lift, but in reality they are just things, and we have created our own good feeling by our thinking. The good feeling is something that we manifest for ourselves, and the object of our desires is usually only the catalyst to help us bring this about. Shop-a-holics are constantly shopping to get a feel-good sensation that disappears as soon as they possess the item of their choosing. Food cravings and any other form of craving usually acts as a replacement for a deeper inner need, usually love.

When we do fall in love, the sensation of love is naturally inside of us, and not outside. While the energy rapport and synergy that works between two human beings is obviously a factor, we nevertheless create, by means of our own internal chemistry the sensation of wellbeing and love. If we can realise that we create our own emotions, does this help us to see objects or people that we desire somewhat differently and to let go of them more easily? Maybe we don’t need such external stimulus to excite us, and we don’t need to lean on them as a crutch. We are complete in ourselves, and have the inner workings to manufacture for us any experience we like, from sadness to joy. I’m not suggesting we try to take a cold and completely dispassionate view on everything, but maybe we can allow ourselves a little more autonomy and be more self-reliant. We don’t need half the things we have or desire.

By letting go of our attachment to things and by being less possessive we may find that we have more of what we really want. I’m referring to a deeper contentment that comes from being more centred and balanced.

It's good to nap

Having my siesta

If you've been reading my blogs recently, you'll know that I have a keen interest in encouraging the practice of having a siesta after lunch in order to be at our best for the afternoon. We all tend to have a low dip in energy levels, around 12 hours after our deepest part of night-time sleep between 12.00am and 2.00am. This is a biological need, so we feel tired despite any lunch we may have eaten. If we are able to have a 10-15 minute snooze we can restore our energies so we can think more clearly, be more productive, make better negotiations and generally communicate well, rather than through a drowsy fog. It also can help our posture as we feel more sprightly and less heavy.

To siesta, doesn't take more than around 15 minutes as part of a normal lunch break. If we actually don't get a break and munch sandwiches at the desk, then that is a problem in itself. If we work so hard, then there is even more need for Positive Self Care to ensure we don't burn out. I'll talk more about this later. If we do get a break, then it can be our choice to have a nap. At least it should be our choice, but current northern European culture doesn't really respect this so we feel guilty about shutting our eyes; we struggle on, fuelled by copious amounts of coffee. Not good. As it may help to wake us up, coffee can also cause aggression and stress. It's just better to have a proper shut-eye for a few minutes and then the rest of the day will go so much more smoothly and efficiently.

I'm now on a mission with this and am determined to see if we can change the culture so that napping after lunch, (in our own break) can become more accepted. Of course, I'm not suggesting that we all must have a siesta, but if we feel the need, then we should be able to do so, without trepidation or fear of criticism.

So I am setting up the first National Siesta Day in the UK which will happen on Wednesday 28th June 2006. It will be communicated via national, regional press, radio and TV nearer the time. Press releases have been sent out to over 400 news desks and the website has been set up as a place of reference www.siestaawareness.org..

If you get a sense of tiredness after lunch, see if you can create the opportunity to have a snooze for a few minutes. Set your mobile phone alarm to wake you and then afterwards, wash your face, drink some water and maybe have a square of chocolate. Don't over sleep as you'll feel drowsy all day! But just a few minutes ....or even just a few seconds of drifting away can really help. It doesn't need to be a deep sleep. Even just letting your mind wander with your eyes closed can do wonders. You may find it helpful to push your chair back against a wall to rest your head. Give yourself a cushion or pillow, (travel pillows available from some chemists support your neck) and maybe adjust the arms of your chair so you are supported but not hunching your shoulders.

So watch out in the press, radio or TV for National Siesta Day on the 28th. If you do see something, you'll know where it originated, and you got wind of it first on this site.

It's good to nap. Try it. :-)

On Judging others...

It's so easy to judge isn't it? What I mean is, don't you find it so easy to make judgements about situations and other people, when in actual fact there is quite a high chance that our judgement is.....well, unjust? I know myself how terribly quick I am to judge others and when I notice, correct myself immediately.

Not only are we likely to be inaccurate in our assessment, but we also harm ourselves. By categorising, classing, positioning, comparing and assessing others in a critical or judgemental way, we are limiting our view and excluding possibilities that things may be otherwise. We also create negativity towards our subject and towards ourselves. Criticsm and judgement can be so limiting and damaging as it's likely to be laced with a negative emotion. We also project our own prejudices, negativity and limitations onto others. I feel the negative judgements that can so easily be made about others, say far more about the person making the judgement than about the one who is being judged.

There was a conversation I had with someone over the weekend that prompted this blog today. We were discussing whether a mutual friend who is a university student would be in London over the summer holidays or whether he would return home to France. I had commented that as he has now got an English girlfriend (who we both know) that he he had a great incentive to stay in England during his holidays to be with her. But my companion immediately said that 'everyone' is hoping that he will have grown out of her by then and moved on. I asked why, and I was told the general view was that she was rather flighty and he deserved better. Well this conversation raised my hackles and I quickly chose to let it go.

But on considering this again later, I thought it terribly unfair to judge this young lady in the way she has been. The people who concurred with this view of her, most certainly do not have the relationship with her that our male friend has. How could they? Unless they have all had a romantic, loving, sexual, caring relationship with her (which I doubt!) how could they see her from our male friend's perspective? He will almost certainly have seen another side to her, as in such a relationship the dynamics are different; the closeness, intimacy, trust and security bring out deeper parts of our personalities. She could easily be the most wonderful partner for him. How can we possibly see her from his perspective, or for that matter any other person from another's standpoint?

Their relationship may or may not be forever. But that's not of our or anyone else's concern. If it's 'right' for just now, then that's good....for now. As that is the only time that we've got....right now. If it's going well, it's going well. End of story. They're happy, and all can see that. So this is great. If we can find happiness within ourselves, and also with another then we've got a big part of what life's about. Health, well being and happiness. :-)

Beginner’s luck

I've never played ten pin bowling, at least not since I was a teenager, forty years ago, but when we were visiting a country fair there was the opportunity to try my hand. The biggest incentive was that the highest overall score of the day at this stall would win a pig. Not that I would know what to do with a pig if I won, but the idea seemed like fun anyway. So I gave it a go.

It was mid morning and the fair had just opened and it seemed that I was their first customer. For £1 you could play three games with three balls to get all ten pins down. To my surprise I did quite well. I think my scores were 8, 10 and 9. Not bad for a beginner. After returning home that evening, the phone rang and surprise, surprise it was the stall holder at the fair telling me that I'd won a pig. Great! ... Bad! Where on earth would I put it? It was eventually explained to me that it's against the law for them to give me an actual pig without a license, so I was offered a number of fillet steaks in compensation. I only had to drive out into the country again to pick them up. I'm not a big meat eater, but it was fun to pick up our surrogate pig in the form of red cow steaks. I might have another go sometime and see how I fair.

Isn’t it interesting that when we have our first go at something new we can sometimes excel beyond our expectations, surprising ourselves and our friends? We make a golfing stroke for the first time and it almost goes straight into the hole, or we throw a dart and it hits bull's eye, but when we do it again, the success of the first attempt eludes us. How frustrating! I believe that this situation often occurs when we don’t have any preconceived idea of how we are going to perform or any previous performance experience to match up to. There is no stress and we are probably relaxed, and loose. We have only the idea in mind of putting the ball in the hole or hitting down the ten pins and therefore we just do it.

As a beginner we have not established any habits related to our performance because we’ve never done it before, but we may be visualising what we’d like to happen. When it comes to subsequent attempts to repeat our initial success, we are likely then to have expectations. We want to repeat our good fortunes so we feel that we must try hard. We end-gain. But in the process of trying harder we’re setting up tensions in our body that didn’t exist during our initial attempt that was so successful. In other words we’re not doing what we did the first time so how can we expect to achieve the same performance?

So there must be a moral in this somewhere. One way is to do anything once only and be a star. Just keep moving on to the next activity and show how brilliant you are at absolutely anything, from archery, speed skating, Russian roulette, one-hole golf, one-throw darts, apple ducking and ten pin bowling.

The other way is to think about the process of doing it. Firstly visualise what you want, ....the dart on the bull's eye, the ball in the hole, the pig enjoying your back garden. Then put this out of your head and bring your whole attention onto the process. Don't try and copy what you did the first time. It's impossible. Each opportunity is a fresh chance to go through the process again. Each time is the first time. And forget about the end result. Keep yourself free and loose, keep your balance, keep your neck free. You may be surprised to find that you have a natural aptitude to perform successfully every time!

Have a good weekend!

:-)

Persuasive power of voice

One of my clients came in yesterday with such a great story of successfully using what we'd been working on, I asked her permission to share it with you.

Over a period of time we had been refining her natural upright poise, reducing tensions and stress. We have also worked on her voice as she'd been told that her presence and presentations in business meetings were not sufficiently persuasive.

This lady has been travelling over the last three days in three countries and had twelve meetings in several cities. These meetings were with top level management and influencing major financial decisions. She wasn't the only woman there but from what she said, it sounded as though she was.

Inevitably in meetings, no matter at what level, there is a tendency for people to talk over others, to chip in, interrupt, challenge, ignore and generally each person has a perspective they want to get across. Sadly it is still the case that women are not given equal respect in such situations and are frequently interrupted. My client told me that these meetings were no different and when the women spoke they were all interrupted as most of the men were too.

But my client had a different experience. Now it must be remembered that for this lady, her speaking voice had certainly not been her strength. She had been long criticised for weak performance during presentations. But this was not the case now.

When she spoke they all shut up. She came to these meetings in a state of calm neutrality. She was centred and balanced. When my client spoke, she did so from a position of calm strength. She spoke slowly and without rushing. She let her words linger and have weight. She let her self pause and give 'space' to her message. She spoke with resonance, with inflection of tone and pitch to vary and interest her listeners. She spoke with clarity and good articulation. She did not speak loudly but she had gravitas.

They all listened. Not once in all her interactions in twelve meetings was she interrupted. Not once did she feel that she had lost her audience. In fact she felt that she had them completely... every time.

Her powerful, calm, well paced presentation carried gravitas that none of the others in the meeting had. She had 'voice' as she called it; almost as though it was her tool. And she used it. She felt that she had status that was higher than her actual level. If she keeps this up she'll get an even higher company position to match her growing personal stature.

I wanted to share this with you.

A good voice makes you sexy, makes others listen and earns money.

Sex appeal comes from within

Have you noticed how you can sometimes meet people who may not be described as traditionally beautiful, in fact they may positively be unattractive in certain ways, be it their features, figure, hair or clothing. But despite this they may also be enormously sexy or sensuous. They can have a wonderful sexual appeal because they are radiating something very special. They exude this quality from within.

Indeed someone like this can be far sexier than another who has the perfect figure, sculpted features and wearing stunning clothes. Because our subconscious picks up on everything about them and the latter person may be sending out a conflict of statements. She may not be really calm, centred and content within herself, and this is what we pick up. This conflict makes us uneasy.

Some aspects of ourselves are so much part of us that if we were aware of them, we may feel that there isn’t much that can be done to change. We’re talking about our physical demeanour, and not just the cosmetic treatments and considerations that we give to our outside. We're also talking about our attitude, how we feel about ourselves, our emotions and sense of self. It's what’s going on inside of us that can have an enormous effect.

There are certain qualities in people that we normally find very attractive and sexy. Personality of course is one. Reasonable fitness is another, but also if they appear upright, relaxed, cool and confident within themselves; if only we could have that relaxed, emotionally centred and calm, self assured quality too! If we could also move with nimbleness and fluidity, have openness across our chest, have clear skin, be relaxed in our facial muscles, smile, and look calm and happy and have a gorgeous voice. All of these qualities are the most natural in the world, yet to find someone displaying them all tends to be a rare experience. And I would also suggest that these are the qualities that more of us could have, but do not, only because we are preventing ourselves from having them. In other words, we are not loose because we are stiffening, we have dry skin partly because we don’t breathe efficiently, we frown and tighten our facial muscles and we may not drink enough water. We are stooped and pulling ourselves down, because we’ve lost our sense of balance and developed a whole load of habits to compensate. But these aspects also have much deeper influences. Our whole health and well being is undermined.

Our inner organs may also be under stress, partly by our slouch that compresses them, but also because of emotional reasons as well as dietary. Our system may be under strain, and this will affect our whole demeanour. We cannot be truly relaxed and calm when our system is under stress. I’m not talking about stress at work or any other external situation, although our ability to cope in these circumstances is also affected by how well co-ordinated and balanced we are. No, I’m referring to the general functioning of our whole ‘self’ that can be under significant strain, and this will be expressed through our energy and will affect how we interact with others. And although we may feign or pretend to be happy, calm and wonderful, something deeper is giving off other signals that conflict with our manner. So there is dissonance in our portrayal of ourselves, this is discomforting to those with whom we interact.

So how do we get this wonderful inner quality? We must attend to our diet, our water consumption, our general lifestyle. We should attend to our posture and ensure that we truly are in balance, well poised, breathing well, free in all our joints so that we can move easily. As we’ve said, our emotions are enormously affected by our physical condition and by improving our posture we will certainly change how we feel about ourselves and how we come over to others.

We can also have a positive attitude and just simply decide that we are just not going to care at all about what others think of us. We're just going to be ourselves, we're going to be positive, and raise our own emotions so that we are happy in ourselves all the time. Sod it. Sod the world. We can just be ourselves, do our thing, relax in the knowledge that there is absolutely nothing that we can do that will change how others feel about us. How can we? If we're richer, some won't like us for it, of we wear designer or more attractive clothes, some will be turned off by them, if we're poorer others won't like it. We can only affect how WE feel about ourselves. We are the only person that we can have an effect over. So let's make ourselves happy, content. Let's please ourselves and not care what others think. And then when we're truly into being ourselves without care or concern, uninhibited, carefree, self assured, dedicated to what interests us, busy getting on with what we're passionate about and not trying to please anyone, .....then, and only then will we be giving off signals we've been talking about.

There is a strange irony, that if we stop caring about what other people think about us and just get on with being ourselves and making ourselves happy, then we are far more likely to be exuding a relaxed, comfortable, self assured and sensuous quality and people will be falling over us. It seems 'selfish' to be so concerned about making ourselves happy, but this is what people like! When was the last time you fancied someone who didn't like themselves or wasn't happy? We walk the other way.

I feel that one of the most important things to remember is that we are all unique. You are unique. There is no-one in the entire world that has your combination of attributes, skills, personality, quirky idiosyncrasies, sense of humour, sound of voice, shape and figure, height and width, smile, softness, strength, passion, loves, hates, ambition, methodical or erratic, calculating or abandoned, challenged or successful, eloquent or laconic, speedy or leisurely way of life! No-one. Just you. And we are all different. And this all is to our benefit. All of it. Deep down we are all the most wonderful, caring, loving person. If you feel you're not, you haven't gone deep enough. It's what makes health. Love heals and brings life.

We all have it all already. You and I and every one has this wonderful, attractive personality and sensuous presence,.....if we could just let it out. And we can't let it out by trying to be anyone other than who we truly are. You are beautiful. So just be yourself and enjoy the attention you get. Love it.
:-)

Mirroring emotions and posture

I was at a preview last night of Sam Shepherd's play 'Fool for Love' that opens at the Apollo, Shaftesbury Avenue, and I must say I had a real problem to stay unaffected by it. You may well ask why would I want to remain unaffected rather than let myself go. Good question. It comes down to the nature of the play and my mirror neurons.

The play was a relationship feud between a girl and her ex who has returned again to wreck her peace by seeking her back. And so it continued. It's a well written play, certainly well performed and I wish them well with this production. But there was so much angst in it....probably around 80% argument and shouting that I could feel my own emotions being dragged down to a similar level. Now for me, this is not the sort of 'entertainment' that I normal seek. My day is generally on a high; I teach the Alexander Technique, I help people revive good posture, we're on the up physically and emotions are usually on the level and happy. You may have gathered this from the type of blogs I write. So being assaulted by aggro does not appeal at least not for the full duration of a play.

Mirror neurons have been well researched and these work inside of us when we watch other people and create a similar emotional state as though we had been in the same situation ourselves. We pick up on other people's emotions very quickly. Indeed, it seems that negative emotions are picked up more easily than positive happy ones. Choosing who we share time with is important as we pick up on each other. So it's good to be around positive happy people as much of the time as possible. It rubs off on us and them. Like attracts like.

As a health practitioner I meet many hundreds and indeed thousands of people over the years, all of whom are wonderful people in their own individual way. Many are full of hope and seeking good and help and are great to work with. There are some people though who may have been so overcome by difficulties and are suppressed and suffering. They carry their problems as enormous weights and although they come for help because they think they 'should', they have difficulty in accepting positive change and some really don't want it. Their habitual state is so 'down', familiar and although hurtful, that they'd rather stay there.

As I work with my hands to help release them from tensions and bring them up in stature, which is what they need to function healthily, it can sometimes be very hard for me to not take on the same emotional state. Experience over years teaches us how, but the pull is still there. So I have to remain 'up' and provide a strong stimulus for them to be drawn towards my emotional and physical state. As our motor neurons work and negative emotions are stronger in 'pull' than positive, I have to work doubly hard to keep my place of neutrality and positive healthy poise to resist the 'attraction' of down. It's important because I've got my own health to maintain and there will be a number of other people coming to see me straight afterwards and they won't benefit from me if I'm not at my best. If I work with the client for a sufficiently long period, they will almost certainly change fundamentally for the better. As their posture improves they start to feel well emotionally and physically. They can become freer to let out their true spirit and natural physique, unaffected by negative traits. The positive situation needs to be refreshed frequently for it to become a new positive trait.

Cathy Sierra quoted from Steven Stosny, an expert on road rage,

"Anger and resentment are the most contagious of emotions," according to Stonsy. "If you are near a resentful or angry person, you are more prone to become resentful or angry yourself. If one driver engages in angry gestures and takes on the facial expressions of hostility, surrounding drivers will unconsciously imitate the behavior--resulting in an escalation of anger and resentment in all of the drivers. Added to this, the drivers are now more easily startled as a result of the outpouring of adrenaline accompanying their anger. The result is a temper tantrum that can easily escalate into road rage."

If we are learning a new activity, be it golf, swimming, piano or violin or running, we should be careful who we choose as role models because we will surely pick up all their good and negative traits with equal measure.

neurologist Richard Restak offers this advice:

"If you want to accomplish something that demands determination and endurance, try to surround yourself with people possessing these qualities. And try to limit the time you spend with people given to pessimism and expressions of futility. Unfortunately, negative emotions exert a more powerful effect in social situations than positive ones, thanks to the phenomena of emotional contagion."

We subconsciously use the technique of mirroring to empathise with people and also to make ourselves more attractive to them. If we 'fancy' someone or wish to get on the same wavelength we will stand like them, cross our legs like them, lean on one arm like them, agree, nod and generally mimic in such a way it's almost comical from an observer's view point. We may even talk like them. Like attracts like.

While sitting in the local park on Saturday I noticed a middle aged married couple and was struck by how similar they were. At first I thought they were brother and sister but their rings and behaviour showed otherwise. They were similar in posture, weight and build, facial features and also the lines of expression. They mirrored each other beautifully. Have you noticed how couples can take on each other's characteristics, expressions and mannerisms?

Mirroring also works in a similar, all be it subtly different way, if we are not feeling so happy. If we can muster a smile or even laugh, there are chemical changes that take place to bring about the same emotional state with which the activity is associated.

So to summarise, it's good to surround ourselves with happy and positive people so we absorb their good and healthy energy. Also if we are amongst negative and aggressive people for a while, stay back and observe the situation from an emotional distance. Let the negativity be something they are doing. and not you. And remember to breathe......Air works wonders at calming us down. At times of stress it's so easy to forget to breathe.

:-)

Neck and back pain

Neck tension and back pain can be a real problem for some of us, particularly if we work at a desk and by the afternoon we can be really suffereing and longing for time to go home. For others, the problem may be all day. So what can we do?

As a teacher of the Alexander Technique I meet many people for such reasons and I can empathise with anyone who suffers such problems as it can be debilitating. The problems at a desk are numerous, but in general, we can tend to collapse our posture as we work on the computer, or writing. Our full attention is usually on papers and keyboards at a lower height than our heads and we come down towards them. We stoop. Consequently the weight of our head and upper body gets off balance forwards and gravity pulls us further forwards and down. This causes excessive tension in our back and neck muscles to prevent complete collapse. So we get stiff, the natural curves in our spine get distorted and cartilage becomes compressed. We can then trap a nerve, perforate a disc and cause long term disc degeneration.

There are many treatments that can provide help including massage, physiotherapy, chiropractics, osteopathy and many others. At the end of the day though, even if we feel better after the session, if we have habits of stooping and slouching we will return to the same old pattern that caused the problem in the first place. The answer is to change our posture long term. If we have good balance most of the time, our musculature will find it far easier to maintain upright poise. As soon as we get off balance and slouch then we're struggling.

A great help can be to lie on the floor in semi-supine position for 10 minutes or so. Do this daily. When we are working at the desk, try and think of sitting tall. Don't 'pull' yourself up straight, but think of being tall. Your shoulders should ideally be over your hips and your head over your shoulders. This would be reasonably upright. Of course you can lean forwards when you want, but don't get 'stuck' there. Always return to 'upright' poise.

Free your neck as best you can. This is helped by 'thinking' it free. Your head is balancing on the top of your spine at a point between your ears. This balancing point is remarkably high. Think of your head teetering. Neck tension nearly always results in your head being pulled backwards, so let your head roll forwards slightly to release this tension i.e. drop your nose by a few millimetres. In Alexander Technique we would firstly free our neck then 'think' or 'send' our head forward and upwards so we are lengthening while remaining free at the same time.

If you are working at a desk, get up regularly to move around, fetch a glass of water, collect or deliver something. Don't get stuck by moving every 30 minutes or so. You can move your shoulders in circular movements and twist your neck gently. This is nothing to do with Alexander Technique, but the movement will help to release chronically tight muscles.

In the natural world we should all be very free in our joints, expansive in stature and in balance. These are the prerequisites for being healthily poised in relation to gravity while standing on two feet. Indeed it's how all vertebrates are; free, expansive and in balance. The Alexander Technique is a practical method for regaining the same quality and we use the technique consciously in order to overcome postural habits. Our habits are automatic, so we need to take more conscious control in order to overcome them.

By improving your posture so that you are freer, more upright and expansive and in balance, you will also improve your breathing, clarity of thought, calmness in stressful situations and also have more commanding stature.

So if you do suffer from back ache, there is really a lot that you can do. If you attend to the root causes of the problems, then you won't get the painful symptoms and you'll deal with the situation long term and avoid deterioration. There is lots of potential, lots of room for improvement, lots you can do. Think loose and forward and up with your head. If you're interested in finding out more about the Alexander Technique there is a lot of information on my site and links to societies of AT teachers world wide.

Happiness and misery

The greater part of our happiness or misery
depends on our dispositions and not on our circumstances.
We carry the seeds of the one or the other
about with us in our minds wherever we go.

Martha Washington, 1731-1802 Fist Lady of the United States of America

'Difficult' is a matter of perception

What is achievable is more a matter of expectation rather than living within set limitations. Let's consider raising the bar a notch.

"Man built most nobly when limitations were at their greatest."— Frank Lloyd Wright

There is something about being faced with difficulties that can cause us to rise to overcome enormous challenges. Over ions peoples have built empirical structures despite hardships, droughts and unforgiving environments. An attitude of 'We can win, no matter what.' prevails. And there is nothing like time pressure to get something done, to galvanise the dedicated into achieving the unachievable. Parkinson’s Law says ‘Work expands to fill the time available for its completion’. And when the time available is limited to a ridiculously short period, the work can also be achieved with remarkable and almost unbelievable speed. If there is true intent, there will most likely be a successful outcome.

There is an interesting threshold of choice....the point where one person may just give up and say "Its not possible." and another chooses to persevere and doesn't let failure enter his head. "We can." rings with optimism, belief, power, spiritual assistance and positive energy.

But then, sometimes the things we 'think' should be done, may not be in our best interest, or not appropriate at this time and difficulties that we can struggle to overcome are there because it's just not 'right' at this moment. We're pushing water up a hill. How do we know if the situation is not for us, or one that is definitely 'for us' and overcoming all odds is what we should strive for? Sometimes we may think that we should contact this person or get a job done, but really it's best we don't. See my entry 'Going with the flow'.

In such situations I reckon it's good to pause and ask one or two fundamental questions such as.... What would happen if I don't do this? Does this action/project fit with my overall plan or scheme? Am I reacting through fear, anger or positive passionate emotion? Does it fit with my Purpose?

If the desired outcome fits with what's in our 'highest interest' and for the good of all, it's remarkable what can be achieved. The 'impossible' gets done remarkably smoothly and obstacles melt away as a warm knife passes through butter.

Certainly remarkable achievements are possible under the most difficult situations. But the scale of 'impossibility' may be a matter of perception. What is perceived to be difficult may not actually be that difficult when all our resources are working towards an end that is 'for the good of all'. Perception is the view from where people are standing. Wherever we are, we can't see the whole picture. Perception is affected by past experience, expectations and understandings of what is achievable and 'right'. It doesn't take into consideration anything outside of our own experience and learning. How can it? So our perception is limited and what we think is possible is bound to be limited to some degree or other. It can't include influences from outside, the Universal Energy, the collective unconscious or any other activity happening concurrently in the world. We all influence each other....everything influences everything.

So 'Difficult' is only a perception and what is such for one person, is not for another because our beliefs are different. If I believe I can do something, there's a high chance I will succeed. It's not about brute force and overcoming all odds. It's about intuition, sensitivity, clarity of being, standing back to get a clearer picture and listening to the feedback we get from the Universe. When we're going with the flow and full-on with positive intent and in line with our Purpose, the 'impossible' is done easily. It's a matter of perception and belief.

We can choose to change our level of expectation......if we choose. I believe that we can all achieve more and our dreams if we choose.

It's all in the 'unexpected'

Don't we just love it when when something good happens? Say, someone picks up the package you accidentally left behind and rushes to return it to you, or holds the door open for you when your hands are full of shopping, or gives you a birthday card. These are all welcome and everyday situations that help make life go smoothly. Lovely.

But how wonderful it is to get something that's even more unexpected. The garage returns your serviced car nicely cleaned on the inside and complimentary air freshener, you get flowers from a friend when it's not your birthday or any special day at all, your boss says leave early to make up for the extra hours you did last week, a client writes to you just to say how much they appreciated what you did for them.

Cathy Sierra writes about 'Delightful-out-of-context-surprises' in marketing terms and how software designers can sex-up products and create extra appeal and good will to customers. But we can extend this principle out of the marketing arena into normal life. How great it is to get unexpected and delightful surprises.

Would it be nice to receive more? Absolutely. And this is a good time to remember that 'like attracts like'. So I'm going to remember to give and do more for others, without thought of return. There is an especially good feeling about giving. Helping others makes them and us all feel great.

But there is an underlying principle to all this 'giving out' that we need not worry about or consider at all, but I will mention just to dispel any concern. What we give-out will come back in some form or other, maybe not from the same place and not immediately. But it will come back when we need it most. We could regard 'giving' as not reducing our wealth, but relocating it for a while. It will be returned as 'what you give is what you receive'. We don't need to worry about this. It's the law of attraction. So smile, and give, and think not of return, but how great it is to share. Our turn will come when we most need it and how great that will be. What an unexpected surprise. Thank you!

Have a good day :-)

Sherwood Forest

Sherwood Forest

This photograph was taken just after sunrise in May. I got out before breakfast and had a good three hours of quiet photography. The the sun was shining from an oblique angle to highlight the sides of trees and throw long shadows. It's a wonderful time of day, and being in Robin Hood's forest, I got a sense of a certain magic.

Hasselblad, 80mm lens, yellow filter, shot on Delta 100 rated at 50ASA and developed N-1 to compensate for high contrast.

You can do it

"You can be anything you want to be, if only you believe with sufficient conviction and act in accordance with your faith; for whatever the mind can conceive and believe, the mind can achieve."
Napoleon Hill

Courtesy of Mike Barker. Thanks Mike.

National Siesta Day

Do you ever feel a lull in energy levels after lunch?

Do you sometimes wish you could just have a little siesta to refresh you?

Having written quite a lot about the benefits of having a short 15 minute siesta, I thought it would be good if the culture in Britain accepted it more readily. So put this in your diary. Wednesday 28th June is NATIONAL SIESTA DAY in the United Kingdom.

I've been pretty busy over the last few weeks setting this up and we have a new website for Siesta Awareness and Press Releases are going out to around 400 national papers, radio stations and TV channels in the next week. So if you see something in the press around the 28th of this month about National Siesta Day, you'll know you heard about it here first.

Research shows that we have a strong biological tendency to become tired in the early afternoon. A short siesta in the middle of a working day recharges our brain, increases memory, concentration and our productivity by up to 34%. If we ignore this natural need we risk having accidents at work as well as suffering reduced levels of concentration, productivity, negotiation and communication. Sleep deprivation has also been shown to make weight loss more difficult.

National Siesta Day is Wednesday 28th June. It is a non-profit making awareness day to encourage a change in public perception and promote the idea and benefits of having a siesta.

It is a day when we can all close our eyes and snooze for 15 minutes to restore our energy levels for the afternoon without trepidation or fear of criticism. Company bosses are asked to encourage staff to have a short siesta as part of a normal lunch break. Some companies may be able to offer staff an extra five minutes at their discretion. The siesta is a sure way of helping productivity in the post-lunch period.

Benefits of the Siesta:
- More energy
- Better productivity
- Brighter ideas
- More alertness
- Enthusiasm
- Better negotiations and communication
- Increased safety at work and while driving.
- Happiness at work

Having a siesta in the early afternoon has been a tradition in some countries since Roman times, or even earlier.

Here are a few famous people who have napped.....
- Brahms napped at the piano while he composed his famous lullaby.
- Napoleon napped sitting on his horse between battles.
- Churchill maintained that he had to nap in order to cope with his wartime responsibilities.
- Geniuses such as Edison and Da Vinci napped.

The Shortest Nap? Bob Hope reportedly napped for as little as three seconds while standing on his feet. Apparently during conversation he would close his eyes briefly then come wide awake.

I'll keep you posted on progress. Feedback so far from press editors is very positive. :-)

The Chilterns

Hope you had a good weekend. I don't know how it is where you are in the world, but the days here in southeast England are just fantastic. We've got beautiful weather (something that is not always the case), with the sun shining from morning till evening, the air is clear and not too humid. It's refreshing. Boy, do I like jumping out of bed at 5.30am at the moment!

We were in the countryside yesterday, to be precise, in the Chilterns which is a range of hills about 30 miles out of London towards Oxford. They form a crescent moon-shape from Aylesbury in the North, sweeping round towards Surrey, southwest of London. Beyond this line of hills is the Thames basin and it's very flat, but the Chilterns is an area of gently rolling hills, woodland, farms, little winding country lanes, thousands of footpaths for walkers, small villages with only one pub and a church. There is so much variety, with valleys, hills, woods and some great views with few buildings in sight and it's quiet. That is if it wasn't for the light aircraft that fly over. There's a small airfield at Wycombe and the lazy drone of single-engined aircraft can disturb the peacefulness. But that aside, it's the most wonderful walking country....with very few walkers. (I should keep this to myself so not to make it busier!) It's also a great area to watch Red Kites circling above looking for prey.

There are also stately homes and park lands owned by the National Trust open to the public. We had a picnic as usual after our five mile walk. It's just so good to take the boots off, sit down and tuck into salad, quiche, cheese and grapes. And then there's tea and cakes being served in the churchyard at Hambledon with the gentle tones of a wind quartet for accompaniment. ....so villagey, so quintessentially English....but it's good. It makes a grand day out. OK I've done my bit for publicising the English countryside.

So here I am back at my clinic early on Monday morning and today is going to be a great day. I'll tell you more about this landmark day shortly. In the meantime, I hope your weekend was lovely and keep thoughts positive for a good week. Enjoy.

Recipe for longevity

Scientists have come up with some reasons why there are more centenarians in the world now and a recipe to help us all. Four main factors have been identified - diet, exercise, psycho-spiritual and social. Top on the list, surprise, surprise is having a positive attitude. Apparently research from the Netherlands showed that older men with an optimistic outlook on life were only Half as likely to suffer from cardiovascular disease over a 15-year period as those whose worldview was more negative.

One of my clients lived until she was 104. I asked her once why she'd lived so long when all her family had died young. She said, "All these young people are getting angry at things and this makes you sick. Always forgive and forget and be grateful for what you've got." I learnt a lot from her.

Professor Carey Cooper from Lancaster University agrees and has come up with ten commandments for making it to 100.

1. Enjoy yourself - a couple of beers or a sauna could reverse ageing process.
2. Stay Married - being sociable really does help you live longer.
3. Move home - Think about relocating to a 'longevity hot spot' like Hawaii, Sardinia, Nova Scotia or Japan. Environment can have an influence on longevity.
4. Have a drink - Have a vice in moderation, whether it is chocolate, whisky or gambling.
5. Work your brain - knit, do crosswords, go walking.
6. See the doctor- get regular check-ups and treatment fast if you're sick.
7. Eat healthily - Keep to low-fat foods and stop before you're full.
8. Take risks - Intellectual challenges, travelling, or learning a new language can all add years to your life.
9. Seek a long life - Embrace any new technologies.
10. Be happy - smile, keep your sense of humour and keep old age at bay.

Professor Cooper added: "If your parents lived to the age of 90 then you're a very lucky person. But if you've got a negative outlook on life you're not going to live as long as you potentially can."

Isn't it all pretty obvious really? So what are you going to adjust in your own life? I'm going to take a few more risks and seek a few more challenges and find a vice or two. As for smiling, being happy and positive....well, haven't we been banging on about that for a while?

OK. First step. This is Friday and tomorrows the weekend. So have a good time.!

:-)

Coincidences

The world seems to be divided into several groups when it comes to attitudes towards coincidences. There are those who believe that simultaneous occurrences are purely co-incidental and the fact two or more things happen at the same time has no meaning beyond the superficial fact that they happened. There are also those who believe that there are no such things as coincidences and such occurrences as meeting people accidentally, and other simultaneous events are all governed and brought about by a Universal energy. And there are others who do not know and cannot or do not want to make up their mind.

For me, I find it helpful to go along with the belief that there are connections between us all, and events are not just a ‘coincidence’ but the outcome of a highly sophisticated network of communication between us and our environment. My life goes remarkably smoothly, and things fall into place easily. I put this down to the way I think and listen to my heart.

By thinking, we create energy that transmits not only within ourselves but can affect our environment and the actions of others. Let me give you an example. I’ve had it in mind to write about this topic for some days and I’ve been thinking about what examples to include. As I sat down at my computer to write about it, I received an email that was a copy of a message a friend was sending to someone else, and it is unlikely that he would be aware of how appropriate this email was to my thoughts at that moment. He was recalling the final lines of a musical staged in London in the early eighties called ‘Time’ written by Dave Clark who was famous in the 1960’s with his band the Dave Clark Five. The fantasy musical was about whether Earth and its population should be permitted to continue in existence when it was so negative. By the end of the musical, the "defense" team had won their case. The following is part of the closing lines, recited by Laurence Olivier and although it is part of a work of fiction, it succinctly puts the point I am making.

“Stand before me on the Sign of Infinity, all you of the Earth.

With the granting of "The Law of Provenation" comes the application of change. I will give you the key. And with this knowledge, please realise, comes the responsibility of sharing it. I will show you the way: (It's very simple).

Throughout the Universe there is order. In the movement of the planets ... in nature ... and in the functioning of the human mind. A mind that is in its natural state of order is in harmony with the Universe, and such a mind is timeless. Your life is an expression of your mind. You are a creator of your own Universe, for as a human being you are "free to will" whatever state of being you desire through the use of your thoughts and words.

It's entirely up to you, for the quality of your life is brought about by the quality of your thinking. Think about that. Thoughts produce actions. See the pettiness and the envy and the greed and the fear and all the other attitudes that cause you pain and discomfort.

Realise that the one thing you have absolute control over is your attitude.

See the effect that it has on those around you, for each life is linked to all Life and your words carry with them chain reactions like a stone that has been thrown into a pond. If your thinking is in order, your words will flow directly from the heart, creating ripples of love.

If you truly want to change your world, my friends, you must change your thinking. Reason is your greatest tool. It creates an atmosphere of understanding which leads to caring which is Love. “