Perfect Poise, Perfect Life
Bring your body into balance and revolutionise your life
By Noel Kingsley
Publisher Hodder Mobius
AVAILABLE HERE
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Attachments and possessing
When we do get what we want, and achieve our heart’s desire, if we try and hang onto it, we may find that the very thing that we tried so hard to get, can slip away from us. When referring to attachment, I’m not talking about Attachment Disorder, a condition that can be established in infancy and for which there are centres that provide help and support. I’m talking about the everyday situation of hanging onto things, particularly when it comes to people. Clinging to new relationships is one way in which some of us may have experienced a problem; when one person is keener than the other, any over-bearing tendencies on one side can put the other person off. But by releasing the person or situation, and by having a less holding attitude, we may find that our relationship stays with us.
In some cases it’s the actual process of going for something that allows us to have it but by trying to keep it, we lose it. When people use the Alexander Technique to help their natural poise and release unwanted tensions, they can often feel a wonderful sense of lightness and freedom, but if they try to hang onto this sensation, it slips away. This is because when they try to keep the lovely experience, they cease to use the process that created the experience in the first place. If we are in deep water of a swimming pool and enjoy having our head above water then we’ve got to keep swimming, as it’s the process that helps us maintain what we enjoy.
When we get something that we really want, we can feel a wonderful glow and inner sense of satisfaction. We relate our good feeling to the thing we got. But this thing is usually outside of us and if it’s an inanimate object, it is not actually doing anything to us at all. Such possessions can give us a huge emotional lift, but in reality they are just things, and we have created our own good feeling by our thinking. The good feeling is something that we manifest for ourselves, and the object of our desires is usually only the catalyst to help us bring this about. Shop-a-holics are constantly shopping to get a feel-good sensation that disappears as soon as they possess the item of their choosing. Food cravings and any other form of craving usually acts as a replacement for a deeper inner need, usually love.
When we do fall in love, the sensation of love is naturally inside of us, and not outside. While the energy rapport and synergy that works between two human beings is obviously a factor, we nevertheless create, by means of our own internal chemistry the sensation of wellbeing and love. If we can realise that we create our own emotions, does this help us to see objects or people that we desire somewhat differently and to let go of them more easily? Maybe we don’t need such external stimulus to excite us, and we don’t need to lean on them as a crutch. We are complete in ourselves, and have the inner workings to manufacture for us any experience we like, from sadness to joy. I’m not suggesting we try to take a cold and completely dispassionate view on everything, but maybe we can allow ourselves a little more autonomy and be more self-reliant. We don’t need half the things we have or desire.
By letting go of our attachment to things and by being less possessive we may find that we have more of what we really want. I’m referring to a deeper contentment that comes from being more centred and balanced.
