Perfect Poise, Perfect Life
Bring your body into balance and revolutionise your life
By Noel Kingsley
Publisher Hodder Mobius
AVAILABLE HERE
« Effective practice | Main | Defensive Pessimist or Realistic Optimist? »
Pursuing happiness
With the plethora of books on happiness in the popular psychology section of every book store, and more being published every day, it seems we have gone mad in search of this most elusive yet ultimately fulfilling quality to life. But on discovering that a great Islamic philosopher and reformer Abu Hamid al-Ghazal wrote a popular book called The Alchemy of Happiness during his 52 years, 1058-1111AD, I realise it's nothing new.
We often talk of the 'pursuit of happiness' as though it's something that we need to chase after, and don't many of us do just that? From retail therapy and just ten more handbags, to globe trotting and continental holiday homes, haven't we got more now in the western world than ever before? Yet each day, it seems, a new study shows we are unhappier than ever and more people reach for the Prosac. In our search, some may turn to religion, we can meditate, breathe deeply from our 'stomach' and for moments we can forget everything. We can give of our time and experience charitably for the good of others, and feel uplifted and happy. The list of advice seems endless.
Richard Schoch comments in his book The Secrets of Happiness that we can better understand happiness by looking at the philosophical and religious traditions of happiness, including those of other cultures, and believes that we have lost contact with the old and rich traditions of happiness and their essentially moral nature. He also comments that it seems the case that many will sadly describe happiness as mere avoidance of pain and suffering.
I will certainly go along with the idea that if we can develop the capacity to understand where we go wrong and forestall it, we can help ourselves enormously. Indeed this is similar to the principle of 'Inhibition' in the Alexander Technique to help maintain natural poise. F.M. Alexander used to say, "If we can prevent the wrong [postural] thing from happening, the right thing will look after itself." We are self healing and we have a propensity towards health, hence the continuation of our species. But can it be said of happiness?
I have long believed (and written in previous blogs) that we may discover we have been happy after the event, when we have been fully occupied with an activity that is challenging, requires some creativity but is not so demanding so allowing us some success. In Hinduism it is said that 'Any worthwhile activity however ordinary- but done in the right spirit - takes us one step closer to happiness'.
Edward do Bono's new book called H=: A new Religion? sounds interesting and in line with my own thinking, and I must get a copy. Apparently according to the Times, he advises 'how to live your life positively through Happiness, Humour, Help, Hope and Health'. He also suggests that inner happiness (harmony in the soul) and 'outer happiness' (Health and well-being) are mutually dependent and have little to do with the pursuit of pleasure. I'd go with that.
But, to bring up briefly something that I shall refer to in my next blog, contentment is most likely to exist when we are not pursuing anything, including happiness. And contentment is probably what we are more able to experience most of the time, rather than happiness.
When do we say we are happy? I would suggest that it is when we are experiencing a level of emotion that is more heightened than our norm. So if we were to experience high emotions all the time, they cease to be 'heightened' emotions and become the norm. We get used to feeling good very quickly. We get used to anything good, quickly. How long does the new higher salary feel good for.... 3-4 weeks or a couple of months at best? Then we're looking for another raise. People often ask me what it feels like to be wonderfully postured and in great shape. I wish I knew, and I'll ask them to let me know how it feels when they discover it. I'm still working on it and always will. We get used to how we feel.
It is my belief that to pursue happiness is like chasing a rainbow. It's there in front of you, but to pursue and chase will not help you get there. Particularly if the object of your desires is a new car or watch, as this new happy sensation will wear off as quickly as it came. However, it's no bad thing to be content with where we are at any precise moment. It may not be ideally how we'd like to be, but the present moment is all we've got as the past has been and the future has yet to come. So acceptance with our situation at the moment can be relieving. For me, happiness is not something to be pursued, but to be discovered within. It is there to be had. You have happiness by allowing or choosing to experience it. Accept where you are at any given time and then just decide to be happy. Happy with life as it is. We can also make plans for tomorrow, to change this and that. And when we're living tomorrow, we can be content and accepting of where we are, not fighting ourselves and just choose to be happy.
Happiness can be right there inside all of us, right now. It's a sensation that comes from the release of chemicals by means of thought patterns. If you think negative thoughts, such as anger, hate, disappointment, resentment, revenge, impatience, frustration then you'll create emotions that are certainly not happy. If we think thoughts that are positive, loving, content, giving, uplifting, hopeful and optimistic as well as being content, then we release endorphins and can experience happiness.
Nothing outside of ourselves makes us emotionally feel one way or another, unless we are physically hurt. We create our emotions for ourselves, by how we interpret and respond to situations around us. We can choose (if we like) to respond any way we wish. Even if someone verbally assaults us and shows anger, we can choose not to reflect this back to them, but respond with love and feeling for them in their situation and mood. However, this can be difficult as we do tend to pick up on negativity because of our mirror neurons as I blogged in Mirroring Emotions, but we can still work on distancing ourselves at such times.
We don't need to go searching for happiness outside of ourselves, or even searching inside of ourselves either. We can experience contentment and happiness by just simply choosing to experience it right now. I believe it comes down to our attitude and how we think. It's yours right now. So just enjoy!
:-)
