Perfect Poise, Perfect Life
Bring your body into balance and revolutionise your life
By Noel Kingsley
Publisher Hodder Mobius
AVAILABLE HERE
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Coping with life's ups and downs
Someone was talking to me the other day in respect of keeping good posture when we're sad or when things aren't working out well. A few things came to mind as emotions and posture are inextricably linked. One major influence on our posture is our emot
Perfect Poise, Perfect Life
Bring your body into balance and revolutionise your life
By Noel Kingsley
Publisher Hodder Mobius
AVAILABLE HERE
« Stepping back to see the view | Main | Run your own Imax »
Coping with life's ups and downs
Someone was talking to me the other day in respect of keeping good posture when we're sad or when things aren't working out well. A few things came to mind as emotions and posture are inextricably linked. One major influence on our posture is our emotion. Whilst there are wonderful times during our lives such as having babies and bringing them up in the world, there are also times that are not so joyful. Things go wrong and don’t work out as planned such as a relationship breaking down or we have to cope with bereavement. Sometimes it can all feel just too much and overwhelming. We can feel pressured to the point that it’s difficult to cope.
Sometimes it seems there’s only one thing to do, and that’s throw a brick. And there are times when we need to just shout and scream to the roof tops, the tree tops and into the pillow. If you are going to throw a brick however, make it a really good heavy one and send it just as far as you can; just make sure that you don’t hit anyone or cause damage to property that’s not your own! But By God, it’s good to throw it! And do it again if you feel like it. Throw a hundred. Maybe we should have ‘Community Brick Throwing Sites’ that allow us to safely chuck as many heavy projectiles as we can until we’ve completely out thrown ourselves! You can punch or throw a cushion as a safe alternative.
Life seems full of ups and downs, and when it’s going down, we can sometimes feel that everything is going down, down, down and it’s hard to remember when it ever went up. Fortunately whole trains of cataclysmic events don’t happen to us very often. But we do experience one-off, major events such as the death of a loved one, divorce or separation, physical trauma or an accident. Such events can have a major and traumatic impact on us to the point that we feel that our whole life has changed. With the loss of a loved one or other such event we may grieve for some period then try and get back to normal life the best way we can. In some instances it may be seen as beneficial if not important to have professional help in the form of counselling. Physical disability and serious injury can require a long period of convalescence and we may also remain physically impaired. Even when the healing is complete, our life may never be the same again.
However, with all such major life events, we experience them on not just one level such as physical or emotional, but on all levels. Emotional hurt or sadness affects us physically and physical injury affects us emotionally. Such emotions as anger, stress, fear and resentment can make us stiffen up physically, affecting not only our posture but also our internal functioning whilst sadness and depression may cause us to collapse and curl up in a ball. The loss of an arm or leg may make us resentful and bitter. And although healing may eventually be considered complete on one level it may not be the case on the other. Long after the main period of suffering, we can be still hanging on to secondary symptoms. These can cause us serious problems in the long term.
We need to let out our emotions and also to express ourselves physically. If we have suffered the loss of a loved one, it is important that we allow ourselves time to grieve and express our emotions fully. Being ‘brave’ and smothering our emotions can often lead to difficulties later, such as digestive, bowel problems and even disease. Separation and divorce are an enormous source of stress and again it is necessary to let out our emotions. If we don’t give our inner voice that opportunity to be heard, it will continue to nag away inside of us, bursting at the gate until we give it that audience it so desperately wants or it will express itself in a different form and manifest sickness. When we truly let out our emotions and allow our inner voice to speak we will be able to move on.
We can help release held emotions by expressing ourselves in different ways. We can take time and write it all down, we can talk to someone, scream or write a poem, do a drawing, or dance, act, sing or just jump around.
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Razz, a handsome 6ft 3in tanned Californian is an expert water skier and was giving instruction to a young girl. The boat delivering the rope accidentally came straight at them and the propeller caught hold of his right wrist and tore up the length of his arm mashing his elbow and upper arm. His hip was also hit, tearing the muscle and breaking his pelvis.
Surgeons operated and managed to stitch up his arm but gangrene had set in and they were forced to remove it from above the elbow. Razz went on to have 13 operations and lost 43lb in weight. His wounds eventually healed and he went through occupational rehabilitation and taught himself to write with his left hand. He went back to playing drums in a live band with the help of an artificial arm, and later worked with the Who.
Razz came to terms with his injuries the best he could but felt that there was something still wrong. His therapy had dealt with the physical injury but not his emotions. He was bitter, angry, resentful and sad at losing his arm. His sleeping patterns were disturbed because he couldn’t get comfortable.
Twelve years later in 1980 Razz attended a personal development seminar in Philadelphia that was to change his life. During the course each individual was encouraged to express his or herself to the full. As part of one of the exercises the course facilitator asked “ What do you really want, Razz?” He said clearly that he wanted to just scream. So he did. Razz screamed with all his pent up anger and rage for several minutes until he passed out. The assistants brought him round with damp towels. He screamed again until he passed out unconscious once more. This continued for a full 15 minutes, then his screaming subsided and he started to laugh, and he carried on laughing. Later he described his experience as being one of extreme joy and happiness; of freedom and transformation. He had stepped out of his whole situation and was free. Razz says that all of the trauma in the cellular memory of his body was released in those moments.
He eventually went on to train as a seminar facilitator in the field of personal development so that he could help others. 35 years after his accident. Razz also does Consulting and Training Seminar design for businesses, the private sector and US aerospace.
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We can help ourselves cope emotionally in difficult situations by ensuring that we are in the best condition possible. For instance physical activity can be a good antidote to bottled up emotions. Just getting the body moving can help, and physical exertion creates chemical changes that can also help clear blocked and pent up feelings. Some people find running, or swimming helpful in this way. If we’ve got a job that’s rather sedentary and cerebral, then it will be good for us to balance our lives with something physical during our leisure time.
[Part extract from 'Perfect Poise, Perfect Life' by Noel Kingsley]
