Perfect Poise, Perfect Life
Bring your body into balance and revolutionise your life
By Noel Kingsley
Publisher Hodder Mobius
AVAILABLE HERE
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Truth of expression
Sometimes I struggle to find the words to express myself, and that's in the language I know. Maybe you have the same experience. Sometimes a word in another language seems more appropriate and more fitting; one word suffices where a phrase in our own tongue is the best we can muster. As words can be so misleading it's a pity we cannot always see the eyes of the speaker.
Communicating can be so easy sometimes, yet at others so difficult. Expressing ourselves as we seek to be heard and avoiding the pitfalls of being heard as others would wish to hear us can be a subtle difference that in some countries can result in either life or death. Joy of misunderstanding can be swept away if the truth be discovered in another's slightly ambiguous phraseology. Maybe we should not just rely on words. If our subconscious gets its way we actually use far more to interpret and decipher another's wishes or meaning from body-language, eye pupil dilation and mannerisms.
As a photographer I know that what I exclude from the photo is almost more important than what I include. There have been many an occasion when I have photographed an old oak or beech tree, apparently in some quiet hollow or dingily-dell of a woodland, but the viewer is not aware that I was dodging traffic behind me to stand on the edge of a road to capture this superbly lit early morning scene.
The language of fashion and clothing in general can be so misleading about the personality of the person in the 'uniform'; others however may display some clues to their nature through their reserve or outward flamboyance, tidiness or dishevelment. Sherlock Holmes would tell a whole life story by the splatter of mud on the instep of gentleman's shoes. We may express ourselves through our clothing but it is more likely to reflect how we may wish to be perceived rather than a truism of our nature.
In art, design, music and dance we give and receive communication of feeling, mood, style, emotion; we can communicate pictures in sound and communicate sound in pictures. We can decorate our homes to suit our personality or suit how we would wish our personality to be perceived, true or not so true, to reality. And through advertising and marketing in general we are overwhelmed to the point of deafness and blindness by the onslaught of images and persuasive messages, telling us what we need, what we just must have and what is almost obligatory if we are to ever stand up with our head 'held high'. "You just gotta have that!" Gosh, it's true.... "I just gotta have that!" But is it really true? .
I can see why owning a dog can be so rewarding. Apart from the obvious companionship it can give us, a dog is truth in itself. A dog never lies. It doesn't know how. If a dog is happy it wags its tail and if not, the tail hangs between its hind legs. The look in its eyes tells all. A dog as a pet offers unconditional love that surpasses the majority of relationships in humans, at least to my awareness. A dog needs nothing other than the love of its owner and will do almost anything to help us. In some cases it will even lie down and die with its fallen master. In a healthy situation, free of mistreatment we can look into a dogs eyes and it's more than likely we will see an expression of love.
When we look into a child's eyes we see an expression of love. How rewarding it is to discover on those rare occasions, the same feeling in an adult, unguarded, unveiled and honest. It's in the eyes. Look into another's eyes and you can discover a whole world.
"The eyes‥are the wyndowes of the mynde, for both ioye & anger‥are seene‥through them." 1545 T. Phaer
If ever there is a communication that is true to the nature of the communicator I believe it's to be found in their eyes. The eyes are the window to the soul and if we are aware, receptive and responsive enough; if we look beyond the make-up and expression the other wishes us to see, we can peek a world beyond the surface. We can get a peek at truly who is this person and how do they tick. Some may not wish that to be possible, but that view is more than likely to be based on fear. Take away the fear and we can open up.
I love it when in discussion I get a real sense of openness and exactly how does this person feel about situations. In some cases a person's true feelings can be so cloaked in contrived persona and attitude it is difficult to see the real person and their feelings. If only we could see that such contrivance and disguise is really not necessary in the majority if circumstances. But to hide our emotions and feelings can become a habit just as any other in posture, mannerism or speech.
When we relax in another's company it is most likely that we may drop our cautions and defences so our companion gets closer to the real 'us'. To my mind, it is therefore important that we always allow what 'is' to just 'be'; to not put pressure on others, to not have expectations or competitions with our friends. When an atmosphere exists where no such pressure exists, we get an opportunity to really relax. Then the guards come down and we get closer to the real person. It is always my wish to be relaxed within myself, difficult as it can be sometimes; otherwise how can we enjoy the ultimate level of open communication that is true to us and our friend? How else can we experience the truth in expression that we may otherwise only just glimpse of when we look into their eyes?
Honesty and truth; it's in the eyes. Always making ourselves and others relax allows it to also be not only in our words but also in our whole demeanour and attitude and permeate every part of our communication and interaction.
